JOB TITLE: Arden’s Husband
DEPARTMENT: Love
REPORTS TO: No One
RESPONSIBLE FOR: Team of Children (consisting of probably 2 or 3 team members)
TOTAL COMPENSATION: $0
JOB SUMMARY:
Major love investment banking company, Arden T. Ly, is seeking a full-time Husband to be the CEO's best friend and roommate. The Husband role at Arden T. Ly is an integral role that supports the [Husband's Last Name] family to ensure that Arden and Husband's children live a life full of love and growth. Working as part of a tight team, the team in New York (or anywhere) is exposed to incidents and problems that could be raised in at any time in life. It will be the Husband and CEO's responsibility to work through and grow from these incidents. Husband should also make mundane life responsibilities fun through laughter and love. This role gives you the opportunity to be part of a dynamic high performing team and also to be in the forefront of a bombass relationship.
ESSENTIAL DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Perform the role of best friend to CEO, Arden T. Ly.
- Perform the role of roommate to CEO, Arden T. Ly.
- Support CEO as Father of their children.
- Raise demons with CEO, Arden T. Ly. Demons are defined as each other's "inner demons" and innermost thoughts and feelings. Demons are also defined as the offspring of CEO and Husband.
QUALIFICATIONS:
- High Intelligence (Social, Logical, Emotional)
- Honesty
- Integrity
- Kindness
- High sense of self worth
- Attractive to Arden
- Attracted to Arden
- Sexual compatibility with Arden
- Comfortable with self and Arden
- Ability to poop in front of Arden and vice-versa
- Ability to brush teeth with Arden